Two weeks?! Geez, I didn't realize how unproductive I've been.
Here's what I started yesterday at work:
The pattern can be found here, and is surprisingly easy. It feels like knitting something M.C. Escher would have drawn.
I'm now in hardcore efforts to use up old/unwanted yarn.
My goal is to get rid of about an 18 gallon sized storage container of yarn before I move in July.
The ways I propose to do this are as follows:
warmwoolies.org - Takes various knitted items in wool, and only non-white acrylic baby blankets. A weird combination sure, but appealing because I have a lot of non-white acrylic yarn, and baby blankets are or can be essentially..large squares. Bad news is I would have to mail donations.
h4ha.org - (Hugs for Homeless Animals, noobs.) This one is great; you can pretty much knit any blanket out of anything, and deliver it to a local participating shelter. You can search for local shelters on their website, which is the jam because you can keep your love local and not have to ship. You can maybe also play with the animals if you sweet talk the people at the shelter. I am looking into this.
knitforthecure.org - Knitting items (pretty much anything as I understand it), incorporating the color pink in some way. Items are auctioned off and the money goes to breast cancer research and treatment, I believe. This seems pretty cool and certainly has a great motive. The only drawback I can see is that you have to mail donations, and I think it may only help those in Los Angeles. I couldn't find anything local about this. (There's a good chance that the above scarf will go to knitforthecure.org if it doesn't get sent to my Grandma, my ultimate yarn benefactor.)
orphan.org / Red Scarf Project - Similar to Knit for the Cure, but with red and scarves only. Oh, and it's for the Orphan Foundation, not boobs. Apparently participation is in the fall, so I may have to make something and hold onto it for a while. Also something I would have to mail.
At this point, I have such an excessive amount of yarn that I probably won't discriminate between charities; I can mostly participate at least once in all of these things.
God help us all / does anyone want any yarn?